Monday, April 5, 2021

The Busted Pipe Chronicles Day 40: Pitchers Are Whiny Little Bitches


I, like many Texans, had their pipes burst and home flooded with water. Here is my story.

It only took one game for a team to get their feel feels hurt and retaliate on a celebrating batter by hitting him with a baseball a couple days later. And surprise surprise, it's the team that's ground zero of the "Play The Game The Right Way" bullshit that got butthurt over a batter having the gall to skip along as he watches his home run. The vast majority of these "brawls" (could we not call these brawls if all they do is just run on the field, yell and play the "hold me back!" game. If someone doesn't get punched or thrown down, it's not a brawl.) start because the pitcher got all in his feelings over the batter having the audacity to have fun and fires a fastball at him. Let me tell you, these bitch ass pitchers wouldn't plunk batters as often if batters were allowed to fight the pitcher one on one like it's a hockey fight or the batter could hit him with his bat. But this being pussy ass America, if a batter uses his bat on the pitcher, he either gets suspended or arrested for second-degree assault. So the only satisfying videos of a pitcher shitting himself over a batter heading his way involves Rod Allen and Tony Batista in Japan. Sad.

BTW, the Reds whooped the Cardinals' ass 12-1 yesterday.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Day 41: I Wish I Had Rental Insurance in The Busted Pipe Chronicles.

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