Cat Cult Captures Catgirl. Cat Planet Cuties Episode 4 Review

We've Come To Kidnap You
Japanese Summary in 10 words	Sarai ki Nimashita Eris in heat, Furries used shopping spree to kidnap her.
Favorite line	Dr. Durel: "Are you positive you want to be with him?" Eris: "Yes! Without a doubt Kio is the bravest person I've ever known, doctor." Dr. Durel: "He wasn't all that brave just then."

Star Trek reference number #5 parodies the show's opening monologue again, but this time the narration is based off Star Trek: The Next Generation. Then we're taken to a cat cult concert where our mystery little girl speaks on stage to her followers about how great cats are and how cursed they are to have been evolved from apes. But the arrival of Eris gives them hope that one day the members of Underside of Kitten Paw can be real life catpeople just like her.

She's like the Joel Osteen of furries.

Speaking of Eris, she's especially energetic this morning dancing with maracas in her hands with the Assist Droids.

Silver Vine + horniness = FIESTA!

Manami walks in explaining she was gonna throw away the Silver Vine Wine since Kio's cat ran off, but instead she let Eris smell it. Since it's stronger than catnip, she wants more of it, even resorting to trickery to get the bottle back.

If catgirls abused silver vine, do they go to rehab to get themselves clean?

It took a "taser charge" (looks like a shot in the ass to me) to calm her down because according to Dr. Durel, she went wild from a whiff of silver vine due to being in heat. 

That's a funny looking taser.

After Eris woke up, Durel praised her for finding a mate during her first mating season since usually Catians have to make due with a virtual simulator on their first cycle. Of course cockblocker Manami had to chime in and say it's illegal for Kio and Eris to have sex because they're underage (HAHAHAHAHAHA). When she looked to Kio for some backup on her point, he simped off to his room.

Look at that spineless coward run off to his room to avoid sex talk with his friend and aliens. Pathetic.

On Aoi's side of the house, she received two of her very own personal Assist Droids. She gave them simple tasks to test them out then tried to give Nakamura a gun to do a quick draw, but it couldn't fit its finger on the trigger. As she continued reading the instruction manual, the droids got into a termination sequence. It wasn't until she read at the bottom that the droids will terminate each other if one can't perform a task that she noticed the action and stopped them.

This is why you should read the instructions before programming your electronic device.

Next we see Eris' first time on a airplane as the gang traveled to Tokyo and visited Nakano Broadway under Captain Kuune's orders.

Hey, an Abbey Road reference!

The arts and literature department wanted to study manga to better understand Earth's culture. The Catians determine the level of a world's culture by what its people view as lowbrow more so than what they view as highbrow.

"Must protect Eris' innocent virginal eyes from Adult Shop!"

After awhile, they split off looking at various items to buy. Kio was jazzed over a game system while Manami and Aoi splurged on guns. When they made it to the train station, they knew something was up because it was completely empty on a Saturday afternoon.

Where's all the stuff they brought from the mall?

Aoi decided to go back to the mall while the others got on the train. The Head Bitch of the Dogians was tracking their movements the whole time, but was equally puzzled as to who set the trap considering the government has nothing to do with it.

I just noticed she has dog ears.

As Manami noticed there's no ads on the train, knockout gas filled the train car and out popped Kitten Paw maids shooting out the...windows?

"When shit goes down, I'm always strapped!"

I guess Manami got shot or was hit with glass, either way she goes down which allowed the Kitten Paw maids to capture Kio and Eris.

Well, so much help you were Manami...

Even though they disconnected the cars to leave her and the droids behind, Aoi caught up with them on a motorcycle and got on the train.

I would've used the panty shot from a couple frames later, but this maid eating a Tiger Knee was too funny to pass up.

After disarming the maids and asking them where they took her friends, Eyepatch Maid knocked her out of the train and they got away. 

All you had to do, was follow the damn train, Aoi!

Later, Aoi calls Chaika to send more droids then she opened the secret immigration weapons depot to prepare for their rescue mission. All the while Eris (and Kio) is in bed with her catnap broadcasted to packed stadiums across the world.

I could see Natalya Neidhart joining this cult.

Finally we see JACK giving Manami and Aoi information on what is Underside of Kitten Paw and where to find them.

"How the hell are we getting on a oil tanker sized cruise ship filled with cat fanatics?"

But as they arrive to the docks, their leader Antonia Lirimonie Norfedras Papenorgas Arecroteles Cnorses Morfenoss (yep, that's a Greek name alright) prepares her maids for the new era of their cult...Meow.

It's amazing what you can do when you're rich.

So a 12 year old little girl who's obsessed about cats started a religion based on people who wished they were cat people. Y'know, if a billionaire just happen to be a cat person and wanted to start their own cat based religion, I could totally see that actually happening in real life. We already have people dressing up like cats with the ears, tails, paws and masks along with the mannerisms. And considering cat videos are some of the most watch videos online, you would easily have millions of followers selling out rallies across the world. All you need is the money, celebrity endorsements and tax exempt status. But enough with cat religions, let's talk about how much of a hater Manami was in the first half of this episode. 

Funimation once again tried to impose American values on a anime that takes place in Japan which, good luck with that. She says "it's illegal on this planet to have sex with someone underage like him!", which without looking it up I know is a goddamn lie. Japan's consent laws is messy because under the penal code it's as low as 13. But the Child Welfare Act kicks it up to 16 for marriage or if they're in a sincere romantic relationship with parental consent. And if you go by American laws, which I assume Funimation did since they're based in Flower Mound, Texas, federally it's 18, but in 31 states it's actually 16.

Plus, 30 states have Romeo and Juliet laws where underage people can have sex if they're close in age. In other words, if Kio is 16, then it is legal for him to have sex with fellow 16 year old Eris. And BTW, wasn't Manami busting his balls about bringing home and boning a "big boob babe" like she's one of the boys in Episode 1? When she thought it was some random girl he "drunkenly stumbled home with" she was making jokes about how things got "hot & heavy" and he's "bringing her coffee". But NOW that it's a CATGIRL he could bang, she's clutching her pearls and screaming THAT'S ILLEGAL!!!

She went from high-fiving Kio for crushing puss to WILL SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN over him nailing Eris.

And throughout the trip to Tokyo she was complaining about how no one thought it was weird that a catgirl was walking around. Did she forget she's in the catgirl capital of the world? That be like me driving to Texas in a rental truck and going, "Hey! No one noticed I'm driving this big ass lifted pickup truck that barely fits in a parking space? What's going on here?" I assume Japanese people are used to cosplayers dressing up like cats on airplanes, on the street and in malls. So there really is no need to pay special attention to Eris.

And going back to illegal activity, I'm pretty sure her riding a motorcycle buck naked outdoors is illegal. And i'm pretty sure her shooting at Kio would bring up multiple weapon charges. So how the hell she gonna chastise Dr. Durel over what she deem are illegal acts when she literally committed aggravated assault the last episode? But why should I expect a psychopathic gun nut who doesn't mind if innocent people get caught in the crossfire whether by ricocheting bullets in the street near homes at night or firing into a crowd of people near stores during the day. It's no wonder Kio friendzoned her crazy ass. Stay tuned for Episode 5!