So That Happened. The Giants upset the Seahawks. The Bengals and Dolphins got into a kerfuffle. The winless Jets made a business decision late against the Raiders. The Ravens ran all over the Cowboys like half the team didn't catch Coronavirus weeks earlier. And the undefeated Steelers lost to a nameless four win team. As they say, it's Any Given Sunday. Every team can beat every team in the NFL regardless of record because the NFL is the only league in the world with ACTUAL parity. Every other sports league have four, five great teams, eight, ten average teams and the rest are shitty teams that have ZERO chance of beating the best teams without injury/suspension shenanigans. So on to Week 14!
THE GAMES
New England Patriots 13
Los Angeles Rams 20
This is a Super Bowl LIII rematch in name only. Sure, key members of the Rams are still here like Jared Goff and Sean McVay but the Patriots is vastly different outside of stalwarts like Bill Belichick and Julian Edelman. At least Cam Newton knows how it's like to lose the biggest game of his life in heartbreaking fashion. Anyway, go with the Rams to get their "revenge".
Minnesota Vikings 47
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 51
A bye week was desperately needed by the Bucs. On paper, this all star team should be running away with the division lead. Instead, it's a team that plays a style of football that exposes the weaknesses of some of their star players and underutilizes the others. Tom Brady knew what he was getting himself into when he chose Tampa but Bruce Arians has got to adjust his playbook to his roster's strengths or this team will be a huge disappointment.
Arizona Cardinals 38
New York Giants 31
The Giants Road to 8 keeps rolling along on schedule thanks to a surprising win vs the Seahawks. Now they play a Cardinals team that's clawing their way back into the playoff picture. It may be enough to win the division if they split their final four games. But I rather they get three wins to complete the Road to 8 and shut up those who complain about division winners with losing records getting in the playoffs.
Kansas City Chiefs 23
Miami Dolphins 7
Judging by the simulation, Miami would have put up more of a fight against the Bengals than they will here against Kansas City. That's not something to be ashamed of but they can't afford to slack off now so close to the postseason.
Tennessee Titans 27
Jacksonville Jaguars 21
Since this is a lost season for the Jaguars, they have some serious decisions to be made this offseason like whether they gonna keep Gardner Minshew II or not. It be one thing if he was playing well before his injury and they're starting Mike Glennon for the third time to save Gardner for next season. But he's been looking iffy as of late and it's valid to question is he the future of this franchise. Of course QB isn't their only issue because their defense is dead last this season. Hopefully, they don't squander their #2 pick and get back on track to become a meaningful winning team instead of a flash in the pan fraud team again.
Dallas Cowboys 41
Cincinnati Bengals 10
The Ravens ran laps around the Cowboys Tuesday and they were the ones infected with a deadly virus that fucks up your lungs! Even though they're mathematically still in it, I'm eliminating the 'Boys from playoff contention. Again, as I stated last month, I thought Dallas had the easiest Road to 8 in their division. Instead, they got into car wrecks and I don't see them getting back in front even with a win this week. Watch out for the cheap shot artists though!
Houston Texans 17
Chicago Bears 31
In my franchise mode on Madden, I air it out on every play expect for inside the 10 yard line. Last season my QB had 6,378 yards passing, 109 TDs and 4 INTs while my RB ran for 526 yards and 31 TDs. If this was real life, it would look like the Texans who are 3rd in passing and 32nd in rushing. Of course, I have the #1 defense while theirs is 30th which is why I went undefeated and they're 4-8. They could use a Sonny Blitch and a Saint St. Saint on D after all.
Denver Broncos 7
Carolina Panthers 23
The Broncos actually kept the game close up to the third quarter. But the Chiefs superior everything finally pulled away to win it 22-16. Imagine what could've been if the Broncos had a QB who's worth a shit. Their rushing and defense isn't terrible but their passing game is clearly their weak point here. I don't know if Drew Lock is the problem or the coaching but I do know something has to change so they won't keep getting their butts kicked into next season.
New York Jets 17
Seattle Seahawks 26
The Jets ALMOST got their first win but defensive coordinator Gregg "KILL THE HEAD" Williams inexplicably called Cover-0 against the Raiders who needed a TD to win the game. He got fired for his aggressiveness. It was fun to clown him for the play call but let's be honest, if that all out blitz got home to sack Derek Carr or force a interception, people would be praising his genus brain. I don't think he will be jobless for too long. If Bountygate didn't end his coaching career, then this crap out would put him out of coaching for at most a year.
Indianapolis Colts 31
Las Vegas Raiders 10
Speaking of the Raiders, after it took LOLJETS to roll snake eyes for DA RAIDAAAS to win this game, I REALLY don't want to hear anyone try to hype up this fraud ass team! I hope the Colts blow them out by DOUBLE the simulation's prediction!
Landover Football Team 13
Glendale 49ers 14
The Cardinals made some accommodations for their new roommate 49ers. They changed the right endzone from "CARDINALS" to "ARIZONA" to match the left endzone. They replaced the midfield cardinal head logo with the NFL Shield. They also surrounded the walls with 49ers colors. It's ironic that after the stadium boom where teams tried to outdo each other with their new stadiums, six teams are now sharing stadiums across three cities. For all we know, this might be a test run of that whole bubble playoffs idea that's been floating around lately.
New Orleans Saints 15
Philadelphia Eagles 20
It finally happened. Carson Wentz gets benched in favor of Jalen Hurts. Doug Pederson wont say whether Hurts will start the rest of the season or not but they got a huge problem at QB to deal with. Do they keep their veteran QB who looks shot after suffering his leg injury and comes with a massive cap hit if you dump him? Or do you keep the cheap young mobile QB who may or may not be any good? Regardless, I don't think Wentz is untradeable because there's always a coach who will take on a project QB and try to fix him like Ryan Tannehill with the Titans.
Atlanta Falcons 10
Los Angeles Chargers 40
I remarked last week on how things quickly changed for Doug Pederson. One minute he's the savior of Eagles football for winning them a Super Bowl, the next, fans want to catapult him out of Philly. While over in LA, Anthony Lynn is going through a similar head coaching career arc After taking over in 2017, people crowned him as the next great Black coach like Tony Dungy and Mike Tomlin. Now his team is 3-9 and he may be out of a job at the end of the season. It's no secret that some coaches get longer leashes and/or more opportunities than other coaches so it could go either way how the Chargers weigh his two bad years against the earlier two good years. One thing is for certain that he needs to improve his special teams and clock/game management if he wants to remain a head coach in the NFL here or somewhere else.
Green Bay Packers 27
Detroit Lions 16
While the Packers are preparing to whoop some divisional rival ass, the Lions are searching for a new GM. They also have to say goodbye to rookie CB Jeff Okudah who will miss the rest of the season to have core muscle surgery. That's a weird way to say sports hernia but whatever. May he come back stronger than ever to a team with a competent coach and GM.
Pittsburgh Steelers 27
Buffalo Bills 13
Even though Washington didn't hold Pittsburgh to field goals, they still got the upset victory Monday night. Steeler receivers caught a serious case of The Drops dropping eight passes during a time when they rarely run the ball. Now they have to deal with a Bills team who knows exactly how to beat them thanks to Washington's blueprint. The Steelers should still win this but they have got to RUN THE BALL especially when receivers have butterfingers.
Baltimore Ravens 19
Cleveland Browns 17
Dez Bryant was understandably pissed off that he was taken out before his game against Dallas. He spent all this time preparing to face his old team only for him to test positive for Coronavirus. Then people got mad at him for mingling with people during warmups even though he didn't know the test results and had his mask on the whole time. Later on, he finds out that it was actually a false positive! Like damn, his tests was as reliable as me posting on this blog in a timely manner. Anyway, he's on the Covid-19/Reserve list and is expected to come back this season after reneging on saying he's done for the season. That's must've been some good ass wine to change Dez's mind like that.
LAST WEEK 10-5
OVERALL 107-83-1
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