I was gonna start off this late as fuck blog about Family, Food, Football and all that Thanksgiving Football...but FUCK THAT. I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I...FUCKING...KNEW...IT! I knew this fucking no indoor practice facility having, diarrhea chili eating, WHO DEY fucktards would get Joe Burrow killed and I was right.
It was just LAST WEEK that I recapped all my concerns I had for Joe Burrow this season behind this shitacular offensive line, just look for yourself!
The Bengals waived Takkarist McKinley after he failed a physical. That's the only noteworthy thing I can say about this sorry ass team. Maybe next year they will improve the offensive line so Joe Burrow will actually have time to throw the ball. He's 9th in passing yards with 2,485 with a 12-5 TD-INT ratio but he's 2nd in the league for times sacked with 32 for 231 yards. I know I expressed my concern for him back in weeks seven, three and one but it can't be overstated that they will ruin this promising talent if they can't protect him longer than it takes to say Ochocinco. Oh, and good luck to Alex Smith on starting the rest of the season.
And now he's gone with a torn ACL/MCL plus "structural issues". I am legitimately angry with how badly the Bengals fucked him over. If they were parents they would get arrested for negligence. If they were doctors they would get sued for malpractice. EVERY...SINGLE...PERSON who is responsible for that offensive line should be FUCKING FIRED! Players, coaches, GM, owner(!!!) get them the fuck out of Cincinnati before Burrow comes back so he can have a chance at bouncing back from this major injury. And if those chucklefucks are still there next year, then he should sit out 2021 like Booger McFarland suggested.
THE GAMES
Houston Texans 24
Detroit Lions 17
It's Thanksgiving Day so we get the suck ass Lions playing the suck ass Texans in our opening matchup on CBS. I usually don't watch NFL on CBS because I just don't care for the network. They just seem more self-righteous to me than the fun lovers on FOX. But I like football so I make it a point to watch their Thanksgiving game, even if it's between two of the league's bottom dwellers. I see why people bitched so hard for a third Thanksgiving game.
Washington Indians 6
Dallas Cowboys 24
With last week's win over the Vikings, the Cowboys join the rest of this piss poor division tied at three wins. Going by their remaining schedule, I still feel the Cowboys have the best chance on the "Road To 8". The only team with a winning record left on their schedule is next week's game against the Ravens and they've looked shaky lately. I know it's a tall task, but they just need to win 5 out of the next 6 games to get to .500. Do it for those of us who don't want to hear people bitch about bad divisional winners hosting games. RIP Markus Paul
Miami Dolphins 10
New York Jets 34
It was bound to happen. After getting off to a hot start, Tua Tagovailoa struggled against the Broncos of all teams passing 11-20 for 83 yards 1 TD and sacked 6 times. But instead of letting the rookie get himself out of the hole, coach Brian Flores benched him in favor of Ryan Fitzpatrick. In true FitzMagic style, he got the team back into striking distance of tying the game on his first drive only to throw a crushing interception in the endzone on the next one. Flores says he's sticking with Tua but if he doesn't trust him to run the two minute offense, then he has a major problem on his hand. He has a QB he doesn't feel can come back to win the game late like Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson, or Matthew Stafford. So Go Jets I guess?
Arizona Cardinals 41
New England Patriots 13
There's not much to say about this easy win for the Cardinals, so let's look at the insights.
- The Cardinals has the league's #1 offense and #2 running game.
- Kyler Murray is the only player to score at least two TDs every game.
- DeAndre Hopkins has caught for 100+ yards every other game this season.
- Their #18 defense allowed 28+ points the last four games.
Carolina Panthers 20
Minnesota Vikings 28
The Vikings suffered a critical blow to their playoff chances losing to the Cowboys last week. It was doubtful they would get in even if they won but now it's a longshot of them getting that third wildcard spot. They need this win to keep up in the playoff race or else...
Cleveland Browns 13
Jacksonville Jaguars 41
The Jaguars will be missing three of their defensive coaches due to the Coronavirus. Since they don't expect to win this game and Jake Luton played awful last week against the Steelers, they will start journeyman Mike Glennon. Apparently, him and his 60.9 completion percentage with 5,163 total yards, 36 TDs and 20 INTs in 29 appearances across 8 years will provide that much needed spark to upset the Brownies.
Tennessee Titans 20
Indianapolis Colts 24
After nailing a game winning field goal vs the Packers last week, rookie Colts kicker Rodrigo Blankenship aka Blanko promoted his rap song he made back at Georgia in 2018. It's no 7th Floor Crew by the Miami Hurricanes but it's no worse than what passes as rap nowadays.
New York Pilgrims 28
ROAST THESE TURKEYS!!! 13
Fuck the Bengals
LA Chargers 23
Buffalo Bills 7
Josh Allen leads the Bills with 5 rushing TDs while everyone else on the team have a combined 4 TDs. That's VERY problematic! If your QB has more rushing TDs than the rest of your team COMBINED you have a shit running game. And that 27th ranking proves it, holy shit that's bad.
Las Vegas Raiders 16
Atlanta Falcons 23
It's a battle between middle of the road offense vs bad defense. The Falcons and their 2nd-most passing yards per game (280.6) should take advantage of the Raiders' 5th-most passing yards per game allowed (273.6).
San Francisco 49ers 27
Los Angeles Rams 10
The Rams look to separate themselves from the Seahawks for the lead in the NFC West. Losing to the last placed 49ers won't help them at all in that mission.
New Orleans Saints 45
Denver Broncos 23
While people were crowning Taysom Hill as the Saints' next franchise QB, Drew Brees talked about his rib injury. Unsurprisingly, it hurt like hell. His body "completely locked up" on him to the point he couldn't rotate or throw. Hopefully, Taysom holds it down long enough for Brees to fully heal and return sometime in the playoffs.
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| WOOF! WOOF! THE BRONCOS WILL PLAY WITH NO QBS!!! WOOF! WOOF! |
Here is some intersting news coming out of Denver. Since starter QB Drew Lock and his backups Brett Rypien and Blake Bortles were in close contact with fellow QB Jeff Driskel, who tested positive for Coronavirus, the Broncos are forced to play the Saints with no QB on their active roster. If this was Madden, you wouldn't be able to play this game but considering how shitty Madden is, that's not saying much. So will it be their punter handing off the ball all game like in Madden? No, they're expected to use practice squad WR Kendall Hinton as well as their emergency quarterback RB Royce Freeman. Before, this was a nothing game and a easy win for the Saints. Now it's a must watch game and a possible easy win for the Saints. Who knows, Hinton might become starting QB if he performs well enough or wins the game.
Kansas City Chiefs 48
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 7
I don't know why they keep having Tom Brady throw deep passes. He doesn't have the arm like he used to and he sure as hell not gonna run around to buy some time for his receivers to get open. Despite his limitations, the Bucs are 2nd in passing and 21st in rushing. They signed both LeSean McCoy AND Leonard Fournette and combined they have 260 rushing yards while Brady passed for 2,955 yards. Just look at the rushing leaders and you will see QBs Kyler Murray (619), Lamar Jackson (575), Daniel Jones (384!!!), Russell Wilson (367), Cam Newton (341), Josh Allen (279) and Deshaun Watson (269) with more rushing yards and that's just pathetic. The Bucs have got to run the ball more if they want to stand a chance in this expanded playoffs with their 43 year old QB who can't throw deep that good.
Chicago Bears 28
Green Bay Packers 34
The Bears got off to a decent start mainly because of their defense but their lack of offense has caught up to them and they're currently 5-5. They have two banged up QBs to choose between with Mitchell Trubisky being the likely starter. I have no idea how they're gonna fix their QB issues but it sure would be nice if there was a Super Bowl caliber QB available.
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| I heard this fella played in a Super Bowl. I wonder what he's been up to? |
Seattle Seahawks 41
Philadelphia Eagles 0
You may ask, "How can a team whose QB passed for 2,326 yards and 14 TDs only have 3 wins by Week 12?" Well, Carson Wentz haven't had a 100+ passer rating in any game this season, has been sacked 40 times and helms a offense that's 26th in the league. God that's depressing but not as depressing as their 10th ranked defense getting gashed by Seattle.
Baltimore Ravens 27
Pittsburgh Steelers 17
This was supposed to be the primetime Thanksgiving game but the Ravens had multiple players testing positive for Corona so this gets moved to Sunday afternoon. If you believe in the traditional Detroit/Dallas Thanksgiving Day doubleheader, you don't mind the postponement. If you hate how those teams always play on turkey day regardless of their record, you are pissed! I imagine the Steelers aren't to fond of another game getting moved around on short notice. If this game does get played, expect the Ravens to have a chip on their shoulders after getting punked out at home by the Titans last Sunday.
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| WOOF! WOOF! Ravens-Steelers is moved to Tuesday Night! WOOF! WOOF! |
We're getting another helping of Tuesday Night Football on Thanksgiving Weekend. Thanks to the Ravens putting 18(!!!) players on their Covid-19/Reserve list, this game gets moved again from Sunday to Tuesday. That list also includes star QB Lamar Jackson so they have to rely on Robert Griffin III and Dez Bryant and whatever warm body they can find to pull off a upset.
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| woof wednesday woof |
If I was a Steelers fan, I would be so pissed off at how the NFL is bending over backwards to accommodate the Ravens while punishing teams with fines and lost draft picks and telling others to fuckoff. Anyway, this game gets moved to Wednesday making this the longest NFL week. Lamar Jackson still can't play but Mark Ingram can return for this rivalry game.
LAST WEEK 7-7
OVERALL 89-71-1
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