Let's Talk Shit About Madden. NFL Pro Bowl Preview

Let me preface this by stating I haven't played Madden 21 or any of the recent releases of this football game franchise. I tried to play it during that weekend EA literally gave the game away for free though. I even created a Steam account so I could download it even though I prefer consoles over PC. But it kept crashing at the title screen so I never got to play the game. All I got to show for that pain in the ass installation process was that game cover above, the Madden 21 wordmark and three versions of this Lamar Jackson wallpaper(?) leftover on my computer:

 Much photoshop Very neon Wow

Truth be told, the last edition I played was Madden 17, which is the last version to release on Xbox 360. So yeah, I have all the Maddens 06-17 that were released for Xbox 360 but I haven't owned any of the ones outside of that range (I played Maddens 01-05 at my cousin's house though). The point I'm making is while I'm familiar about all the features that used to be in Madden, all the current problems with the game I have to rely on YouTube to inform me.

For a time, I was following Ryan Moody's videos to catch up on why #NFLDropEA was trending and man, what a shitshow this game is! So many bugs, glitches, laziness, missing features, half-assed improvements, abandoned modes, blatant pushes of microtransactions, etc. I saw for the first time why people were so pissed at this game. Then I checked the score...

Of course the "critics" liked the game more than the gamers.

HOLY SHIT THAT'S AWFUL!!! Gamers have responded so negatively to this game, even Pat McAfee talked about it on his show!

Off the top of my head, here are some things that are missing from Madden 21 that were in previous generations of Madden or are in other sports games:

• Cheerleaders on sideline
• Referees on field
• Coinflip
• Kickoffs
• Dynamic sidelines that interact with players coming on/off the field
• Dynamic stadiums that empties or fills based on team performance
• Create a team/logo/uniform/field/stadium/play/fan/league
• Play by American/Canadian/Collegiate/High School/Indoor/Sprint/Flag rules
• Add/subtract teams/levels from league
• Pro/Reg option in franchise mode
• Face molding on create a player
• Real faces for every real player
• Tattoos, necklaces, earrings and piercings
• Fantasy/Historic/National/International/Women's teams/leagues
• Tournament mode
• Mini camp mode
• Hall of Famers available in Play Now
• Realistic injuries
• Ejections
• Suspensions
• Play as a offensive lineman, fullback, kicker or punter in career mode
• Pregame show that highlights players to watch and history
• Halftime show that plays highlights and out of town scores during franchise mode
• Postgame show that plays highlights and player of the game interview
• List of retirements after the season ends in franchise mode
• Transition your player's career into a coaching/GM/owner career
• Play as or hire/fire position coaches and coordinators
• Money you make in your career is used to buy stuff in game in franchise mode.
• Realistic HOF eligibility and selection process
• Yearly career and league stats in franchise mode
• Multiple broadcast teams and network coverages
• Purchasing in-game items to be created and delivered to your house

I'm sure there are other things people care more about than what's on this list but this is just some of the stuff I noticed that's not in the game. I eventually stopped watching his videos because I get how much of a broken mess this game is (It got a worse user score than the game that's so bad it's taking a year off to start over on the new consoles) but he gotten to bitchy and nitpicky for me. For instance, clipping will always be in games because collision detection is a lot more complicated than gamers want to admit. As long as players are not falling through the field, that receiver's arm going through a CB's head is a minor issue compared to a defender intercepting the ball but it scores as a TD for the offense.

And seriously? You're complaining about EA finding new ways to make money? Like, no shit EA puts more effort into MUT because they made billions of dollars off that mode alone. Of course they're gonna put random shit like The Yard, SpongeBob field, Superstar KO and the NBA's Antetokounmpo brothers Giannis, Thanasis and Kostas to distract from how barebones the game really is. And guess what, they have no incentive to change their ways because you suckers keep buying the game and spending real money on virtual items that are useless the next year. Y'all could've supported games like All-Pro Football 2K8 and Backbreaker but noooooo, if it doesn't have a NFL license you're not playing it.

So I have no sympathy for those who are mad about franchise mode being untouched for years. I'm still enjoying my favorite edition Madden 09 where you can put HOFs on created teams. I will continue my career on Madden 12 where it rains most of the season as I'm on my 12th season with the Patriots. I will also enjoy breaking my own records in Madden 13 with the Jaguars as Maurice Jones-Drew finally retired as a HOFer 8 years into my franchise mode.

Anyway, this year's Pro Bowl will be played on Madden NFL 21 for obvious reasons. When did they put the Pro Bowl back in the game? Last year? EA gave a bullshit excuse they wasn't able to put the different helmets in the game at the same time so they took it out completely. ESPN knowing how broken this game is won't even air it like they did with other video games. Instead, they will stream it online while they do some boring ass roundtable talk on TV. I remember they took kickoffs out of competitive modes because of how buggy it is. So I imagine the Pro Bowl will be like that where they try their best to edit out all the bugs and glitches that will make them look bad. And I'm gonna watch it just to see can I spot the edits like I can with 4Kids dubbed anime and pandemic era wrestling (He injured himself doing that spot).

For all we know, this may be the future of the Pro Bowl. Back in the day, players enjoyed this game because they got to go to Hawaii after the season to hang out with friends, surf and do other tourists things. There were even strongman competitions for bragging rights! But now that it's before the Super Bowl in Vegas, who gives a shit? Just reveal the rosters, give them their bonuses and move on already. Oh, and I simmed it on WhatIfSports NFC 31 AFC 17.

LAST WEEK   1-1

PLAYOFFS     7-5